Our guide Chi in Vietnam was showing us Ho Chi Minh’s mausoleum. He said that Ho asked to be cremated since he spent his whole life in service to his country, and never married or had a son to clean his bones when he died. In spite of his wishes, Ho’s successors had him embalmed by the Russians so he has a grand memorial and people file silently and respectfully past his bier to pay respects to Uncle Ho.
Our guide Chi explained that in the Vietnamese tradition, a man is buried in his rice paddy. 3 years later, a son carefully digs up and preserves his bones. One can only trust a close relative to make sure everything is done properly. That is why it is so important to have a son. There is no retirement, no paid medical care, and every 12 years, the government redistributes farm land based on how many people you have in your family. If your kids go to the city, next time around, your lands will be reduced. Family must work together, and the son must take care of his parents when they get old.
This is the system Chi grew up in. His perspective of family obligations is very different from a westerner. He is going to make different choices than a US millennial. It seems so clear from the outsider-visitor perspective.
We, too, make choices that are obvious to us and may look unusual to an outsider. Are we so sure our ways are the only way to do something? Different can stir creative thinking, or even innovation. Who has a story you can learn from today?
TM photo by author