Are you annoyed when someone uses “we” instead of “I”? They purport to talk for all or at least to talk for YOU, when you are not in agreement? Doesn’t it trigger you right away? That is called the royal “we”. DIdn’t we fight a war of independence to get away from that?
If we (haha) pick at this a little further, the reason it annoys most people is because it is assumptive language – it assumes the opinion expressed speaks for the “we/us” not the “I/me”. It can throw the speaker into the patriarchy trope when there was no intention to go there. At a minimum, it distracts the listener, and you lose the power in your speech. It may take you paragraphs of compelling, interesting prose or speech to get the listener back.
What should you do instead? Be curious, ask questions rhetorically or poll the audience. If you think you are speaking for everyone, ask if you are?
Example of be curious: How many of you use chatgbt?
Example of asking rhetorical question: Do you too wonder if all GenZ’s in the audience are secretly on TikTok as we speak?
Example of polling the audience: Raise your hand if you did NOT use a gps app to get you to the location today?
All of these questions respect the audience and get them to listen closer to what you say next.
Watch a comedian you like and see how often she taps into your own experience to build rapport before she twists into the unexpected that draws the laugh. I probably jarred you when I used “she” as the pronoun for the comedian. You want the unexpected to be at the punchline, not in the setup for the joke. So it is with using the royal “we”. Don’t mess up your intention with the wrong pronouns.
This week, practice speaking deliberately and with power. “We” will appreciate your efforts.
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