“Wait til you have your own kids!” said my Mom and, “I hope you have 12 kids just like you!” And after a day spent with my young children she said, “Oh, my g-d, they are just like you!” 10 years to the day after she died, I still relish the comments my Mom made in exasperation. Ahhh Mother’s Day -it’s complicated.
I was very close to my Mom. Let me tell you she could be prickly, demanding and tough. She smoked, she had a cocktail every night and walked out the door looking sharp to every bridge game, church social and of course to Mass every Sunday. We represented the family when we walked out that front door and our uniforms were pressed and our shoes were shined. My Mom grew up poor – pride and ambition got her to college and to the life she wanted with my Dad.
Like many people of her generation who went through the depression and WWII, survival was not taken for granted. She wanted 6 kids and settled for 3 after 3 C-sections. Her opportunities were determined by her gender, and luckily for her and for us, she wanted to be a Mom.
As compared to my Mom, I never lived in a world where I didn’t have access to full reproductive rights. I chose to have 2 kids and only 2 kids. When the doctor said my second child might have Downs Syndrome, I didn’t think I would chose abortion, but it was available to me. It turned out okay, but even my Catholic mother said she would not judge me if I went that way.
Life is complicated, Motherhood is a life time act of service and a great joy. And it should be a choice.
Here’s to the Moms, the Momalas and the Aunties who gave their best so we could be our best.
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