Yesterday I read the following phrase: “I don’t know how you could possibly believe that this was an acceptable way for an adult to behave.”
Imagine, having the grace under pressure to say something like that! Many of us under the same situation use language like, “You idiot. How dare you…..!!!, you#%!”.
I keep repeating the phrase, trying to memorize it, and yet when next triggered by totally unacceptable behavior, I may resort to name calling and foul language. Since I don’t want to do that, I’m thinking of what strategies I can use to improve the quality and effectiveness of my responses when I feel provoked.
The book I’m reading this week, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves, talks about 4 areas of Emotional Intelligence: Self Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness and Relationship Management. Unlike IQ and personality, Emotional Intelligence can improve by practicing specific behaviors. In fact, the book includes an on-line survey to assess your Emotional Intelligence, and with your results you get specific action steps designed to help you improve your EQ. Imagine if more drivers in L.A. got better at Self Management!
Here are some interesting quotes from the book that may motivate you to work on your emotional intelligence:
“EQ is so critical to success that it accounts for 58% of performance in all types of jobs. It’s the single biggest predictor of performance in the workplace and the strongest driver of leadership and personal excellence.”*
AND,
“Of all the people we’ve studied at work, we have found that 90 percent of high performers are also high in EQ. On the flip side, just 20% of poor performers are high in EQ”.**
So, if you have ever completed a EQ Assessment, pull it out and begin a practice to improve the area where you have the lowest score. Or find an assessment online and take a look at yourself. Imagine what it might do to improve LA traffic!
* P. 19
** P. 21
Super cool illustration courtesy of the Emotion Machine Blog by Steven Handel