From the time I was young and impatient to be a teenager and then an adult and then a manager and then an owner and then to sell and so on, I wondered if there would ever be a time when I was content to just be. At 66 years old, the answer is still no. But I’m seeing glimmers in this new role of grandparent.

Spending hours today just holding a sleeping baby who will wake up and scream if I try to put her down, I was amazed that I could sit still that long. I did not do that often as a parent, nor could I do that as a business owner. I had to pace, and multi-task.It was rare that just sitting seemed like the best use of my time. Only, late into the evening after baths and just before bed could I snuggle up and read to my kids. Only late into the evening could I read for myself either.

Holding the baby I realized It is not my intellect that was important here. It was not my high energy. It was patience and humanity. How interesting.

The funny thing is that knowing I have purpose beyond my ability to do, beyond my ability to think things into creation, that I have purpose just being –  takes away a fear of aging I didn’t even know I had. Perhaps, it was deeply suppressed since I didn’t have an antidote. This leads me to a belief that it might be okay to retire some day and I might find it rewarding in new ways.

I have challenged my Vistage Members who talk about retiring to get clear on what they are retiring to. The picture is very cloudy, but I see the outline of something exciting and new that I did not see before today.

What is your picture of your next phase in life?