Plot it!

We got one of those calls last Sunday morning that you do not look forward to – Paul’s cousin, Dennis Connolly had stopped breathing at the rehab center. Almost 82 years old, he left no children – Paul was his closest relative. What now?

Despite his poor health, he had no plans – it was up to us to decide. We called cousins in the East and gently broke the news. We contacted the friends of Dennis that we could reach and hoped the rest would forgive us for not knowing how to reach them. Dennis had so many friends he talked to by phone. And, prayed for. I found his many prayer lists when we cleaned out his apartment.

So many people have had to do this suddenly during COVID in the midst of overwhelming grief. To die peacefully of old age is how we would all want to go. Maybe when you are gone you don’t care and you don’t see the point of writing down what you would like or telling your loved ones your preferences or lack there of. Will your loved ones know what to do for you when it is your time?

So, here is my ask: write it down and tell someone. My Dad always said he wanted a full bar and a big party with a few hearty speeches that he hoped he deserved. That’s what we did for him. My Mother lived another 20 years and planned her Mass down to the songs they sang and paid for her funeral so we wouldn’t have to.

Write down a plan today, or a day soon when you feel good and it is just a theoretical exercise. Suppose it could possibly happen that you would die someday. Honor your loved ones by not putting it on them in their grief to have to do this heavy part. Losing you will be hard enough. R.I.P. Dennis.


For those who wondered, my blog did not post last week due to connection issues between Mailchimp and WordPress. It is the first time in 6 years that I did not post a Sunday blog. I just had to let it go.