Top ten tips for Fathers from someone who isn’t one….

No expert am I on being a Father, but we all have one and I created one by having children together. In my life experience, I have seen some best practices that make a difference in all our lives that I share below:

1. Great Fathers love and honor their Wives/ Mothers of their children. This teaches their sons to be good Fathers and Husbands and sets expectations for their daughters about what man they pair with.
2. Great Fathers don’t just support their children financially.They raise their children and share the grunt work of running a household. In previous generations we saw Dad taking care of outside and Mom taking care of inside. Now, the gardener often takes care of outside, and Dad may market, clean, cook, whatever it takes to help balance the load.
3. Great Fathers spend time with their children by themselves. As their children get older, they figure out activities, projects, sports that they share with each individual child. That would be girls as well as boys (even if that is harder to figure out.)
4. Great Fathers teach their children survival skills for the outside world. How to throw a ball, deal with a bully, ask for a raise. Mom may know how to do all these thing, but Dad will do it a different way.
5. Great Fathers teach their children how to handle bad days. It could be a good example or a bad one. Anger management, working out disagreements with a partner, coping with stress by exercising or drinking. Children learn all of it from the examples they see at home.
6. Great Dads show their children love. Some don’t hug much or say “I love you”. But, they show their love through consistency, caring and being present (hugs are ok, too.)
7. Great Dads show up. It is not often glamorous, and is frequently messy or boring. And, they don’t get acknowledged much for what they do.
8. Great Fathers show interest in their children’s lives. They get to know their friends. They listen to their stories.
9. Great Fathers show vulnerability. They admit when they are sad or tired or impatient and they take responsibility for their moods and behaviors.
10. And of course they dispense wisdom. As I told my Vistage groups this month, one thing my Dad would say was “If you want to keep a secret, keep a secret.” Great training in confidentiality for a future Vistage Chair.

So on this Father’s Day, may I acknowledge how hard most Fathers work to be good Dad’s and raise good kids. We are a better world because of your love and efforts.

Photo by Paul Dye of brother-in-law David Staszak and niece Mariah Staszak