Have you recently sat quietly with your eyes closed and let your mind wander wherever it may? Perhaps you are meditating, or just breathing or giving yourself a moment to “quiet your mind.” Tell me, why is there a need to quiet the mind? Have you been paying attention to it lately?  Susan Scott, the author of Fierce Conversations says there is a constant dialogue going on in there and sometimes we include other people.

Am I wrong to say we are much nicer to other people in those dialogues than we are to ourselves? Especially when we are in a high stakes or difficult conversation. We may be anxious before hand and that stokes the inner dialogue to get louder. “Oh, you didn’t just say that did you, you idiot!” it screams.  “Look at their reaction, you blew it now”.

It might be true, it might be an over reaction, or they may have been about to sneeze. That inner voice is not your friend in that moment. It is just announcing all your fears.

How to deal with it once you bring it into your awareness is a process. Regularly sitting with it and watching how it works, can I say “befriend it”? After all, this is your inner voice. You live with it. You own it. Being aware of it; listening to it gives you wisdom. It knows you. You can teach it to be kinder to you. You can teach it to be less judgmental and negative. And, you can open yourself to the wisdom it gives you back.

This week I suggest that you take 5 minutes each day to quietly listen to whatever thoughts you have. Just focus on your breathe in and your breathe out. They will show up and play with you. Let them go.

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