Category Archives: Personal Development

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You refresh your computer. More emails show up. You get new information. How many times each day do you refresh your computer? What about yourself? >

As you think…

Ralph Waldo Emerson said life consists in what a person is thinking all day.* Well that is a scary thought! Have you ever thought about what you think about each day? Do you ever wonder what other people think about all day? We all spend a lot of time thinking about trivial things as time gets away from us. Want to be better?

I hear often that an idea came to someone in the shower. They didn’t plan the time to be creative, it came to them. Do you ever make a plan to let your mind run free? You could take 3 showers each day, but with the drought, that seems like a bad idea. Instead, you might plan quiet time where you allow your mind to drift. As a kid, I would lay on the grass staring at the clouds in the summer without anywhere else to be. Sigh. That doesn’t happen to us randomly as adults.

We all spend a lot of time thinking about things that don’t matter. In fact, we waste a lot of time on the unimportant. When you become aware of doing that, switching to a topic you had on your list to think about (keep these written on your phone), will gain that time back for more important things.

Let me be clear – I don’t object to people goofing off. But, how many times do you wish you hadn’t just spent 20 minutes on social media? Goofing off should make you feel better.

If what you are thinking about is not making you smarter or happier, change the subject. Ruminating over past mistakes or slights doesn’t make you happier. Think about why you are thinking about them. Give yourself permission to change the topic to something more valuable. If it is really bothering you, I bet it will come back up later.

This week, pay attention to your thoughts and change the subject to something more valuable when they are a waste of time. Let’s see if you feel more productive as a result.

 

+ The exact quote from Emerson is “A man is what he thinks about all day long.”  I saw it written without quotation marks as I repeated above. That made me curious. I found the exact quote when I went to double-check the accuracy. I chose to laugh and appreciate the rewrite I read first.

Being in the Moment

Sitting on the floor with my big puppy draped across my legs happily chewing in his bone, I am totally in the moment. Peace and joy. He is always in the moment. Want to go for a walk? He is instantly ready. Rub his ears, he is all in. There is so much to learn from our animal friends. >

Riding into 2021

If we all learned one thing in 2020, it was that we have darn little control over the waves we ride in on. Who knew last December that we would have a pandemic and all the economic effects that followed. We thought it would all blow over in 2 months and we would be back to our old lives. As we go riding into 2021 on the worst wave of the virus so far, what can we resolve for the new year? >

Focus, focus, focus!

As we near the end of the year, the distractions to focus are increasing not diminishing. Political instability is increasing not diminishing. The Covid crisis is increasing not diminishing. More people are hungry and losing jobs and unemployment is ending. What can we do?

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Set your rheostat for 85

Col. Nicole Malachowski USAF (retired) spoke to the Vistage Women in Leadership national conference on Friday. A fighter pilot and the first women to fly in the Air Force Thunderbirds, Col Malachowski later commanded the 333rd Fighter Squadron with over 1600 personnel. And more. Talk about an impressive career!

While there were many, many take-aways from her talk, particularly pertinent to our Covid time was this: we can not give more than 100%. That is all we have. And, we cannot have our throttles set to 100% all the time or we will burn out. She asked her team to set their rheostats for 85….so when they surged, which they had to do more when needed, they would have enough in reserve to fight full out for short bursts of time.

Is this what we ask of our team? Is this what we do ourselves?

I don’t think so. I don’t do it well, and the folks I coach don’t do it well. That can-do attitude and extreme positivity many of us share leads to regular bouts of total burn out. Add the pandemic, the unpredictability and fear of economic survival and running on fumes is a constant refrain.

Let’s get a grip. What reserves do you have right now?

Let’s do a little recalibration here. What would that look like?

  1. Only do what you should be doing, not the work of people who report to you. Track how many hours that is, and address the root cause.
  2. Set boundaries on your time. Get private work time on your calendar and hold it sacred.
  3. Watch your energy level. When you are “hangry”, tired, or grouchy, you are not being inspiring or even very efficient.
  4. Plan rejuvenation time into your calendar. It could be exercise, time with a friend who makes you laugh or video games. Pick something that recharges you. My new puppy makes me laugh – totally distracting me from everything else.

Remember we are in this for the long haul. Set your rheostat accordingly.

Honor, Duty and Sacrifice

Thursday was the 75th anniversary of the Allies victory over Japan  – VJ day as many vets called it, including my Navy Dad. Most Californians went to the Pacific and so many died as they fought the Japanese island by island all the way to Japan. So few WWII vets are still alive to tell their individual stories but the legacy of “The Greatest Generation” is worth considering in our current crisis.

Yes, there are quirks. Because of the bank failures in the early ’30’s, my Father was afraid of debt. He paid cash for everything. Many families paid in installments BEFORE they got their purchases. Have you heard of, or do you remember “Lay-Away Plans”? Can you imagine waiting 2 month to get that sweater you were drooling over?

Or did you have a Grandma who would stuff her purse with the rolls and butter when you took her out to dinner? (So embarrassing, right?) Too many nights going to bed hungry as a child can be pretty formative.

Everyone in that generation sacrificed. First during the depression, then in the war and for the war. The war effort came first. Any physically-able man volunteered or was drafted. Metal was collected, food was rationed, people were asked to buy war bonds. Women, and older men stepped in to keep the country going.

And honor. – not a word we talk about much these days. “On my honor”, what does that mean? We don’t even say that anymore, unless we are quoting a scout’s pledge. We might describe it as a combination of personal responsibility and integrity.

What would be the translation of Honor, Duty and Sacrifice be for our world today? Perhaps:  Do the right thing and take care of others even if it means you do less for yourself. You would not have to explain that to the greatest generation, so curious that we have to explain it today. We do use the word honor with phrases like “in honor of…”.

So let’s try one:

In honor of those who fought for our freedom, with honor, duty and sacrifice, I suggest you pick one thing, or one thing more you can do in this moment of crisis to make them –the greatest generation– proud of us. Let me know what you did and I’ll share it next week.

 

 

Receiving feedback

Is it easy for you to receive feedback? For most of my life, you could give me positive feedback all day long. I would tend to dismiss it, but I’d be emotionally happy. If i received negative feedback, my stomach clenched as my jaw froze into a slight tight smile, which may have looked like terror. >

To come from love

At Chairworld, the gathering of 600+ Vistage Chairs from 22 countries, many of us were interviewed by a wandering video crew. I was asked to introduce myself, where I was from and how long I had been a Chair. They asked if there was one thing, one mantra or saying that I lived by. Oh wow! It just popped out – “to come from love.”

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Don’t take anything personally

The second of  The 4 Agreements in the book by Don Miguel Ruiz is “Don’t take anything personally”. When someone cuts you off on the freeway, or is rude in a store, we can usually see that it is about them, not about us. We can take a deep breathe and move on. >